Ebook The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman
Ebook The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman
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Amazon.com Review
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice. How do you discover your spouse’s – and your own – love language? Chapman’s short questionnaires are one of several ways to find out. Throughout the book, he also includes application questions that can be answered more extensively in the beautifully detailed companion leather journal (an exclusive Amazon.com set). Each section of the journal corresponds with a chapter from the book, offering opportunities for deeper reflection on your marriage. Although some readers may find choosing to love a spouse that they no longer even like –hoping the feelings of affection will follow later– a difficult concept to swallow, Chapman promises that the results will be worth the effort. "Love is a choice," says Chapman. "And either partner can start the process today." --Cindy Crosby. This text refers to the Amazon.com Exclusive Journal & Paperback Book Set.
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From the Back Cover
ARE YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE
SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE?
In this international best seller, Dr. Gary Chapman reveals how different people express love in different ways. In fact, there are five specific languages of love:
-Quality Time
-Words of Affirmation
-Gifts
-Acts of Service
-Physical Touch
What speaks volumes to you may be meaningless to your spouse. But here, at last, is the key to understanding each other's unique needs. Apply the right principles, learn the right language, and soon you'll know the profound satisfaction and joy of being able to express your love--and feeling truly loved in return.
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Product details
Paperback: 204 pages
Publisher: Northfield Publishing; Later Printing edition (June 1, 1995)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1881273156
ISBN-13: 978-1881273158
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
14,254 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#213,652 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The book was pretty good, it had some valid points and learning that there are different ways that people express their love was important. What I think pulled away from the book was the underlying religious agenda to preach about God. It totally turned me off And I thought it was completely unnecessary to deliver the message. Of course if you are a religious person then this would be right up your alley.
I stopped reading at the part where the author recommended a woman to sleep with her husband against her will. WTF? Highly triggering for sexual abuse and domestic violence survivors.Also, the book reads like it’s written for white Christians. And for men who don’t want a partnership, but rather want to coerce their wife into being their sexually subservient housemaid/servant because they just don’t like vacuuming and can‘t afford hiring a cleaner („I thought I get myself a wife for that“).So if you’re a white Christian man or woman who likes to be a little housewife, yes, this book‘s for you.Besides that, the book offers solid scientific facts such as man‘s sex drive being dominated biologically by sperm pressure; that women‘s sex drive is purely emotional and not driven by their bodies; and more.
I have just started to read this book. In the Acknowledgments, I noticed this, "If all wives loved as she does, fewer men would be looking over the fence." How about "If all husbands loved as he does, fewer women would be looking over the fence."? I am serious.
It is definitely a good book for couples and it has improved my relationship with my wife. If nothing else it shows you what things your partner is really looking for out of their spouse. I quickly found that my love language was "Acts of Service". Though it might not be sexy or macho to say that, it means more to me to have the dishes and laundry done when I come home after work or have minor home improvements taken care of before I get home. My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. We do clean it all the time but it feels like a losing battle. My wife's love language is "Words of Affirmation". As you can tell from all these Amazon reviews I am much more of a writer than I am a talker. My wife is always looking for me to say how much I love and appreciate her because I don't say it often enough.A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. Especially if you have children or a high stress occupation. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication.I recommend the book for sure and found it inspiring and worth reading. All couples can benefit from reading this book. The only downside is I wish it could have been a little longer. The stories from the author are interesting and I would have liked to have heard a bunch of his other examples of couples that he has dealt with. It was a short book and my wife and I finished it in 4 or 5 days and that was reading it slowly. The price is easily affordable. I found it best to photo copy the test quiz at the end instead of writing in the book so we can give the book to any family or friends who are struggling with their relationship.
I was once asked to read this book by the only person in the world I love.....I refused. At the time I figured it to be some shrinks opinion on how we should all be in our relationships....what the hell does he know I thought.....what if he is wrong and my future wife bases our whole future on just what he says.....I imagined this book to be some guy with opinions on how to fix problems that he knows nothing about because he doesn't know "us". It's not a good feeling as a man to agree to read a book on relationships because you feel like you're putting everything into the authors hands.....and what if he "doesn't understand" or what if the advice doesn't apply to us.....what if it makes things worse between us because he advises things we don't believe in.....no....I'm not reading that I told her.I thought no matter what we would always figure each other out and we would be ok......I didn't see being asked to read this book , was a cry out from the woman I love hitting a boiling point and her attempt to communicate to me in a different way......the same things she's been trying to for a long time.....Being close minded that day costed me so much regret and misery....I used to wake up to the most beautiful smile in the world and now I don't....I recently ended up reading this book and I couldn't put it down....sounds crazy but it's true. Instead of being some guys opinions or......typical shrink talk that in no way could apply to each specific relationship.......I found it to be a book that opens up the mind to the understanding of love.....and how it is not this one universal "language" we all feel we should be the same with.....I once told her...."nobody taught me how to love, I'm growing....learning".....I pleased with her to understand I love her.......we simply didn't have an understanding of how and why we didnt approach love the exact same way as each other.....only makes sense that it should be the same right? You bicker and argue and it drives you crazy......why doesn't she understand you think.......the book is not an excuse to use or justify a true bad relationship let me add.....but it truly answers so many questions.....it is really a language of love. Once understood, this book leaves you feeling like a fool and only wanting to apply so much of what you've now learned to your future together. It takes away the work of trying to understand the things that at the time make no sense.....and allows you to focus on what's important....loving instead of wasting precious time. Read it carefully and I recommend reading it together.....I didn't get that chance but I can guarantee reading this book with who you love will allow you both to stop frequently throughout the pages and talk,learn,smile, probably cry.....but then go on to a much happier fulfilling life together once the book is closed. It can save so much if you only let it.*Update 12-1-17I drive a bus so I have nothing but time to think as I look out the window and look up at the sky looking around me. You would probably think of screaming kids and noise but for me it is driving in my own little world and using time to think about lifeI am a trainer so I spend my time trying to help people learn how to maintain their body and prevent problems. And the funny thing is that it is are very choices of what we do to our own bodies that I am teaching to have to change. All of our problems nutritionally and physically and even mentally come down too poor choice and repetitive habits that we know we need to change but never do until it's too late. Every single person reading this can relate to thatMy point about what I do is that I spend a lot of time trying to fix my body because professionals out there either won't take the time to do it or I don't have the money to spend on who is needed. I have spent countless months doing stretches and exercises and what I have found is a lot of times I'm doing the exact same stretches and exercises that don't seem to be working. Soooo......why not do different ones then right...... what a lot of reasons it may feel good, you may not know any other stretches or exercises, you may simply believe that if I just do it one more time again tomorrow....THAT it will finally help..... you just believe in that stretch so much that in your mind you just say I'll keep trying. You are maybe even making things worse by this but you're honest to God intentions are to completely cure one of the biggest problems in your life, pain...... I think you see where I'm getting at.Getting a little long for whoever is reading but there is a lot of meaning here that can help who knows thousands of people as long as this review remains online......I will just end it like this..... last night I took a stretch that I have been doing for over 2 years and I changed it in a slightly different way....... a lot of the pain I normally get daily is gone.......just to put a spotlight on that sentence .....I'm saying that what I had been doing for so long..... trying to cure one of the biggest problems in my life that hadnt been working............that I continued doing........ believing in and depending on.... to be my much needed answer.......It wasn't until I allowed the idea of the same stretch applied in a different way, that I ALLOWED life to be better for me.I did not say this stretch doesn't matter anymore and say forget it to never exist again.....no, I used it to COMMUNICATE with my body in the same exact physical form....just different language from mind to body....because I always believed in it.Belief can be amazing and help you....it also can be your own worst enemy when refuse to change your ways.....lots of time I lost believing my way instead of another.....all while would have given anything to accomplish my goal......once again I stood in my own way......but I didn't give up.....otherwise pain would still be here and I wouldn't have came on here to add all these thoughts.You have to go into the book with an open mind because if you do it with the mindset of wanting it to say what it is that you want to hear.....then you can never let the life-changing words happen.......you're learning a language as you read...not what's right and wrong but what was being lost in life.Keep in mind this is a book about the language of love so if you think about when you go to school to learn a different language...you are taking the difficult step of taking time there in order to understand.....be able to take what you understand and apply it.....and be able to communicate in a NEEDED way once you learn....AND THEN USE......communicate and UNDERSTAND eachother.Just think how you feel when you meet somebody and you want to communicate but you can't and you get frustrated. you are trying to figure out what you want the other person to know and they're trying to tell or show you..... it becomes stressful and sometimes you end up walking away from each other never knowing the real meaning that was right there between the two of you. When you are able to speak the same language this simply does not happen.....The same two people if we're able to learn the same language, could come back in front of one another again and.....just imagine......imagine the possibilities with that communication.......so much never lost again.The exact same message and the exact same feelings that were always there, except now instead of the stress of not understanding, there is the excitement for anything to be possible just by coming together and understanding.....The power of language is amazing........think of when you meet somebody and they're able to speak five or six different languages, you are in awe and wish you could do it.well imagine being able to speak the one language in life that is the most unexplainable, powerful language and meaning of life, love....I would also like to mention the fact that if these two people sat down and learn each other's languages together how helpful that is.....and how much easier it is to be able to learn how to communicate with the exact person that you're trying to ........spending time helping each other learn different languages.......TOGETHER.Bus is parked.
I liked this book. I bought it around the time I started noticing my wife was being combative pretty often. I wanted to understand her, and for her to understand me better. We took the test but the entire time she seemed to make a joke out of it. It turns out, when your significant other is verbally and mentally abusive there is no book that can help you. With a normal person, this book will help you understand the way your partner thinks. I still have this book and will use it in the future when I find someone worth it.
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